First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, how can I stop my divorce? you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You’ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with a sincere apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.
This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.
If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have some hard work ahead of you. You must explain to the other partner, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce. I know you’ve probably done this, more than once. But the more you say it and how you say it can make huge difference.
It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you are irrational and screaming, you are giving that person even more reasons to want to get and stay away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for bringing up divorce in the first place.
You must be willing to work on underlying issues in your relationship that caused it to get to this point. You both must agree that the relationship can’t continue in its current state and it must change starting now for the better. Marriage counseling or recommended books can help tremendously. Explain, “I want to stop my divorce,“ but make it clear you know your spouse and maybe you also were unhappy. Assure both of you that you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make it better.
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