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Ending a Relationship Breaking Up is Hard To Do

January 24, 2010

Does your to-do list look a touch like this:

·    Walk dog

·    Water plants

·    Break up with significant other?

Okay, while ending a Relationship is hardly at the top of anyone’s calendar, the fact is that when a Relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the decision to end it.

The truth is that many relationships last long beyond their “expire by” date simply because breaking up is so hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second floor window.

Other times, the Relationship just slowly peters out until someone finally says “it’s Kaput.”

How do you go about ending a Relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to be clear on why you want to terminate the romance.  The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason.

Once you know WHY it needs to be ended, the next step in breaking up is to be truthful.  That means that in your discussion with your partner that you do right to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time to announce the break up.

In general, it is far better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if that is not possible then you must do anyway you can rather than wait for a time you can see each other in person.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the Relationship.  If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romance with love and compassion.

Don’t place all the guilt on your partner.  Talk about the good things you’ve shared and the memories you will revere that have come from your time together.  Be there for them all through the break up.

Your partner may become very emotional all through this time.  You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a Relationship.  Your partner may say things they don’t really mean.  Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the Relationship.  Or, they may need space.  Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty either.  You’re ready to start a new phase in your life which does not include a romantic Relationship with your ex.

It is therefore best if you retain a positive Relationship of some sort with them, because if you are ending the Relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting?  Does ending a Relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is for you to decide if you so choose.  Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met.  If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period and emerge as an even stronger couple.

But, if you are single-minded in your choice to walk away, it’s best to end a Relationship with a clean break and move on.

On the other hand if what you really want is to save the Relationship and STOP the break up, you will be interested to know what worked for me…

CONTINUED

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Nicky "The Heart-Mender" is a writer who Blogs about ways to get your ex back, steps for getting back together with your girlfriend or boyfriend, how to fix heartbreak, getting over a break up and how to prevent divorce. She received the pen-name "The Heart-Mender" because while some people are "heart-breakers", Nicky does the exact opposite and helps mend broken hearts and fix damaged relationships.

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